UPDATE. Plus a new video: A Complete Stroll Around Addison’s Walk, Oxford.

Hello everyone. I hope this post finds everyone well.

I’m at best, okay. My mum has still not been cremated due to the number of coronavirus deaths. It looks like I will not receive her ashes until sometime at the end of next week. Until that happens I don’t think I will truly believe she is dead. What doesn’t help in this situation is suffering from mental health issues. Thankfully my kids have been wonderful in helping me through it. The isolation doesn’t bother me as that is how I live my life in normal circumstances.

Thank you to everyone for your kindness, condolences and lovely comments. It has helped, as has reading the great comments and discussions going on in the comments section. Absolutely wonderful to see my website being used in this way. I am going to try and get around to answering the questions asked in the comment section very soon. I need to try and be busy or at least return to some semblance of my life as it was previous to my mum’s death. If I can pull myself together I am hoping to restart the Twitch live streams a week tomorrow, 31st May.

Anyway, onto the video below. It is not the most exciting but it is nice. The video is a 30 minute walk around Addison’s Walk in Oxford. I turned the sound off on the video as it consisted of me sniffling, (it was a cold day in April), and the wind blowing over the microphone. I have replaced the soundtrack with the sounds of nature; birds singing, water flowing that kind of thing. I hope you enjoy it. Please subscribe to my Youtube channel and leave a like (thumbs up). Thank you.

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I would like to say a huge thank you to those who have become Patrons of the site and also a huge thank you to those who have made donations. What do I mean by Patrons?

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At last but not least please think about buying my book on the Lewis TV series.

Author: Chris Sullivan

After having looked after my mum for some 11 years she is now unfortunately in a nursing home. I'm afraid her dementia worsened as did her physical capabilities. So, for the first time in 21 years I find myself no longer caring for anyone. Apart from my mum I was also a single parent to two children and also looked after my dad who had Alzheimers, (he died in 2005). So, I have decided to return to University to try and get another degree this time in English Literature. (My other degree I got some 30 years ago is one in Ecological Science). After a year at college I have passed all grades and now will start Edinburgh University in September 2019. A busy time ahead made even busier by my writing a book on the TV series, Lewis.

16 thoughts

  1. I suffer from anxiety and depression myself. Any major life change can throw me in a tailspin. I try to be pro-active by being more careful with diet and exercise. Eating good, eliminating sugar, going for a walk every day in the sunshine and listening to positive reinforcements particularly before bedtime all seem to help. Concentrate on you and your well being. We’ll be here when you’re ready.

    1. Thank you Suellen for your kind words. Yes, grief and depression are not a helpful combination. I am hope you and your family are well.

  2. Be kind to yourself, Chris. There is no need to struggle to get the streaming started back up, unless it helps you. This time is only one part of what your life will be, and although I do not say time heals, it does allow you to get used to your feelings. It will get better than this, try not to be impatient with yourself. Take all the time you need and allow yourself to grieve.

    1. Thank you Di for your lovely comment. I think I would like to try and get the stream restarted as soon as possible as I miss talking to everyone and watching the episodes collectively. I need to find some normality in my life.

  3. Nice and beautiful video, Chris. Relaxing to hear the bird song and it make you long for the summer to be back even though your video was shot in April. Where I live it’s still cold for the season. When I was in your situation I tried to keep my mind busy doing things. The thoughts will always be there, but somehow it helps you keep going in your everyday life. People around you always have advice to give but in the end everyone finds their own way to handle things and to handle the painful grieving.

    1. Hi Bo, i’m glad you enjoyed the video. Your last sentence is so true. I am doing my best to find a way through it. Creating the video is a first step as is answering to all the comments on my website. Thank you Bo.

  4. Please continue to take care of yourself during this time, Chris. Take care of YOU as you did your Mum throughout these many years.

    1. Thank you Brenda for your very kind and thoughtful comment. I hope you and your family are well.

  5. Be good to yourself! It’s okay! And I was supposed to be in Oxford right now, visiting with my daughter from Kansas City, so thanks for this.

    1. Thank you Layne. Sorry to read that your plans have been ruined by this horrible pandemic. I hope that you will get the chance, very soon, to stroll around Addison’s Walk.

  6. Hello Chris. Today would have been my late mother’s birthday. Please believe that, while the feeling of loss will stay in the mind, the pain of grief will ease and a sense of acceptance and gratitude for your time together will shape your thoughts. Best wishes.

    1. Thank you George for your kind comment. Sorry to read of your mother’s death and I hope you are well.

  7. Chris Glad you are coping. I know your children are a great source of comfort. The video with the birds singing was so soothing and enjoyable. I kept waiting for Lewis or Hathaway to pop out around a bend. It was lovely to watch. I hope to vidit the area someday.
    Thank you so much for making it.
    Do take care. We are all thinking of you and sending support.

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I do hope you manage to visit Oxford as it is a wonderful place.

  8. Chris sending love to you and your family. Sometimes it is the weeks and months and years after a trauma that can be the burden and even without a bereavement these recent events will take a long time to deal with mentally for us all. Thank you for posting, look after yourself and do what’s right for you.

    1. Thank you for your wonderful comment. I think you are right in regard to dealing with my mother’s death in that it could be sometime for me to recover from the grief. For that reason I am trying to push myself to be busy rather than sit on the couch all day staring into space.

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